Not Quite Prince Charming
by Charlie'sLostVampire
Summary: Once again, Damon and Klaus get drunk together. This time, it results in watching Disney movies that make them reflect on their rather pitiful current love lives. Suggested by @DamonsBourbon on Twitter! Rated T for language. Remember to review!


_**A/N: This fic was suggested by DamonsBourbon on Twitter, who I now consider to be one of my new best friends, and it is dedicated to her. Elourbon and Disney buddies forever! :D**_

Damon rolled his eyes as he entered his bedroom; it was in complete disarray. Of course, being the Elena loving sap he had become, he had agreed to allow her and Caroline to have a "movie marathon" in his room, because he owned the biggest TV in the boarding house. At the time, it hadn't seemed like such a big deal; he had rather enjoyed the idea of Elena in his bed, even if she was with Caroline and not him. However, his opinion quickly changed when he saw the mess they had left behind. It was unlike Elena to trash his room like she had, but they hadn't been on perfect terms lately, so her sudden lack of consideration didn't shock him.

Sighing, he began to pick up the pieces of popcorn strewn throughout the room, and straightened up the sheets on his bed. Swearing in annoyance he noticed a large dark stain on his gold bedspread; he distinctly recognized the scent as soda. Great. That would leave a lovely stain on his designer sheets…

Grumbling about ungrateful slobs, he pulled the blankets off his bed and started downstairs to toss them in the washing machine. When he returned to the parlor, he glared in irritation. "What the hell do _you _want?"

Klaus was sitting on the red and gold patterned couch with a drink in his hand, looking miserable. "I hate women," he mumbled, downing the contents in his glass. Damon noticed it had been from his good bourbon and glared in annoyance. "Join the club," he snapped, snatching away the crystal glass and putting it on the liquor cart. Klaus looked up at him. "Why do you hate women?"

Damon met the depressed eyes of the hybrid he hated so much, and wondered what could have possibly driven him to his living room and drinking own good supply of bourbon. "Well," Damon said, fixing himself a drink. "I hate women because they leave my room a mess."

Klaus snorted. "That's hardly fair; if you're going to screw them, the least you can do is clean up your own room…"

Damon grinned and shook his head. "Yeah; let's go with that." He looked curiously at Klaus. "Why do _you _hate women?"

Klaus groaned. "Not women in general; just one agonizingly irritating yet enthralling woman…"

"_Caroline…_" Damon said in a sing-songy voice, grinning. Klaus glared. "Yes, Caroline."

Damon chuckled. "And just what did Blondie do this time, Klausy?"

Klaus' glare melted into that uncustomary depressed expression again, and Damon felt himself feeling just enough pity to give the guy another drink and sit beside him. "She hates me," he moaned.

"So?" Damon asked. "Elena hates me; does it look like I care?"

"Yes, it does. Very much so," Klaus said blandly and Damon frowned. "She doesn't hate you, mate, believe me. She loves you."

Damon's eyes widened briefly before he looked down at his drink. "No, she doesn't…"

"Are you blind, or just daft? The reason she pushes you away isn't that she hates you, it's that she loves you. It scares her, so she runs from it. Perfectly natural."

"And Caroline?" Damon asked, taking a drink. Klaus took a miserable drink himself. "Caroline just hates me, plain and simple. No matter what I do, say, or give her, she's always going to hate me for what I've done." He looked at Damon desperately, "You killed Elena's own brother. How did you make her forgive you?"

Damon shrugged. "I don't know. She just… did, I guess."

Klaus drained his glass of bourbon, pouring himself a third. "Excellent; that means I'm doomed to an eternity of Forbes-desiring loneliness."

"Well, what have you been doing for the past thousand years? Why the sudden infatuation with Caroline?"

Klaus sighed. "I don't know… she's special, I suppose."

"Ah," Damon nodded. "Special." Clearly, the man saw something he never had. Then again, he had never given _vampire _Barbie a shot…

"I want her. But I have no idea how to win her. Gifts don't impress her, drawings don't woo her; I could try poetry, but she'd probably accuse me of compelling Shakespeare's ghost to write it."

Damon snorted. "Don't flatter yourself, Klaus; you can't possibly be that good a poet."

"I was alive in the era where every word spoken was poetry, Damon; I think I can flatter myself if I choose to."

Damon shrugged as he swirled his bourbon around in his glass. "Touché…"

Reminded of their currently rather pitiful love lives, the two, for the second time in history, proceeded to get hopelessly drunk together. This time, however, they didn't exactly just… talk.

"You're room is a bloody mess," Klaus slurred as he and Damon stumbled into Damon's bedroom and looked around at the state Elena and Caroline had left it in. "Pft, I know…" Damon said in irritation, walking over to the two DVDs that were left on the table under his wall-mount flat screen TV. "_Disney movies?_" he said in disbelief, tossing them aside. Klaus caught them with vampiric, er… hybridic speed and appraised them, grinning. "I remember when these both came out," he sniggered, glancing at the copies of _Beauty and the Beast _and _Cinderella _in his hands.

Damon flopped down on his bed, frowning and picking a piece of popcorn out of his pillow. "I never watched them," he said and Klaus snickered again. "We should watch them now, you foolish vampire," he said, unable to believe he had never watched them. Klaus had always been a fan of any kind of fairy tales, whether he would admit to it or not. Yes, that's right; that meant the badass hybrid king had a soft spot for Disney movies.

"Are you serious?" Damon slurred, narrowing his eyes. Klaus laughed again and nodded. "Yes, I'm serious! _Please _Damon?"

Damon rolled his eyes. "Fine. Put one of them in."

Giggling in excitement like a drunken kindergartener, Klaus shoved _Beauty and the Beast _in the DVD player and walked over to sit with Damon on his bed.

… . … . … . … . …

"Shit no!" Damon swore as he dangled off the edge of his bed, his blurred blue eyes glued to the TV screen. "Look out, you stupid beast, that fucking French ass is gonna stab you!"

Klaus was leaning against Damon's headboard, hugging a pillow and biting his nails. "No!" he screamed when Gaston stabbed the beast. The big, bad hybrid promptly started to sob. "No, no, no! Damn you, Gaston! _Damn you to hell…!_"

"Oh, stop blubbering," Damon snapped, not looking away from the TV. "You're gonna stain my pillow."

Klaus sniffled and continued to watch the movie, only to start sobbing all over again when the Beast was dying. "It's just so sick and twisted!" he moaned, burying his face in Damon's pillow. "They love each other so much, but the bastard killed him!"

Damon, however, didn't respond; he was too busy being brought back to the spring's events by the depressing Disney deathbed scene. "Holy shit…" he hissed, suddenly realizing the frightening resemblance Belle had to Elena. Beautiful, brunette, caring; able to see past the beast's rough exterior, and find the kind person within again…. "Shit!" he said, shoving his face in his blankets. "I'm the beast! I'm the fucking beast!"

Klaus sniffled and looked up from the pillow. "What?"

"Look at this! I'm the fucking beast!"

Klaus considered it, and then started to snicker. "Well, you are sort of hairy…"

"Not that, you dumb ass! His personality…" Damon said, waving his hands for emphasis and falling off the bed, landing on his face. He swore loudly, yanking the DVD from the DVD player in annoyance. "I don't need to know how this shit ends…" he grumbled, breaking the disk in half and tossing it out. "Hey!" Klaus complained.

Damon tossed _Cinderella _at him. "Watch the damn princess movie, you sissy; I'm going to get more booze."

Klaus watched him go, and shrugged, putting the movie in. Less than two hours later, he was sobbing again watching the royal ball. "_Why won't you love me, Caroline? Be my bloody Cinderella!_" he sobbed noisily, beating his head on the wall. Damon walked back in and rolled his eyes, glancing at the screen. Although he would never admit it, in his head he was screaming, "_Why won't you love me, Elena? BE MY FUCKING BELLE!_"

… . … . … . … . …

Damon woke up slowly the next morning, his head pounding. Obviously he had drank too much the previous night; big shocker there. Frowning, he realized he was snuggled close to something. Rather, someone. Had he gone on a rampage and brought home a sorority girl? "What's your name, beautiful?" he asked, not even bothering to open his eyes. He felt whoever was cuddled into his chest under his arm shift, and then freeze.

"What the bloody hell…?"

Damon's eyes snapped open, and he screamed louder than he ever recalled screaming. "What the hell?" he shouted, bolting out of his bed. "What the _hell…_?"

Lying on his bed was Klaus, looking confused, disheveled and horrified. Both men then noticed the heaping pile of Disney movies on Damon's floor. Damon's eyes drifted from the movies to Klaus, back to the movies, back to Klaus. "We never speak of this again. Got it?"

Klaus stood and nodded, fixing his wrinkled shirt. "Believe me; last night never occurred. I was out partying at a nightclub two cities away."

"And I was at home, drinking, like I always do, checking my rugs for stains." Klaus nodded and extended his hand. "Deal." Damon shook it. "Deal." Klaus started for the door, but paused. "Damon?"

"What?" Damon snapped.

"You remind me more of Prince Eric than the beast."

Damon rolled his eyes. "Get out of here, you Disney loving sissy."

Klaus grinned and left, secretly having stolen the copy of _Cinderella_ they watched before leaving. Once Damon was certain he was gone, he bent down beside his trash can, picking out the remnants of the _Beauty and the Beast _DVD. Frowning, he decided to go buy a new copy and find out how the movie really ended.

That night, lounging on his bed, Damon grinned.

_The Beast always gets the girl. _

Sitting alone in his oversized mansion at the exact same time, Klaus grinned as he rewatched _Cinderella _for the tenth time that day. Whether she liked it or not, he would be Caroline's Prince Charming.

Sure, neither Damon nor Klaus were Disney hero material… but they were pretty damn close.


End file.
